Somali Pirates?

More Like Jihadists With Sea-Doos

by Doug Giles
Townhall

How do you think the media would report a story if a radical Christian cult, such as Westboro Baptist Church, had a group of their idiots patrolling the Florida Keys with AK-47s in Go-Fast boats, ripping off yachts, taking seafarers hostage and giving their stolen loot and ransom cash to their Apocalyptic Dipstick Fund for Violent Global Domination?

Do you think the Blame Stream Media would report that these sea urchins were Christians? Do you think they’d try to link these losers to George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee, the Tea Party and all evangelicals far and wide? Of course they would. What a silly question I asked. They never miss an opportunity to disparage the church, so they sure as heck wouldn’t omit such a group’s affiliation with Christianity in their reportage (even though Westboro Baptist is to Christianity what Charlie Sheen is to sobriety and celibacy).

Here’s another query for you: What if said group of bug-eyed “Christian” lunatics went even more stupid and captured and killed two middle-aged Muslim missionary couples who were sailing the gin-clear flats of south Florida, bouncing from Key to Key as they passed out Korans to folks they came in contact with? What would the Blame Stream Media do? Let’s see (to be read with a Chinese accent), how you say… international incident?

I tell you what they would not say. They would not refer to these hypothetical, lunatic, violent thieves of the high seas as plain vanilla “American pirates.” No siree, bob dog.

Indeed, the Blame Stream Media would make sure they’d get pitched as your general, run-of-the-mill Christians, even though they would be fo’ shizzle a heretical aberration that has nada to do with Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. I’ll bet you fifty bucks.

For certain, given the thought police’s devotion to the church’s demise, we would not hear the big three pitch that such nefarious ocean bandits were mere teenagers, high as a kite on khat, under-educated, impoverished and acting out because they weren’t afforded a sugar balancing Zagnut bar due to economic sanctions levied by evil western suppressors.

However, when Muslim machine gun gangs patrol the Indian ocean off the Somali and Kenyan coasts and rob, rape and kill Americans (including Christian missionaries last week) they get called “pirates,” and the BSM conveniently omits that these weeds are 100% Muslim and this just happens to be the aquatic version of jihad.

“Somali pirates”? Well, shiver me timbers and yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum, ye scurvy dogs. Please, Blame Stream Media, go sell crazy somewhere else. This is jihad on the high seas.

Now, granted, it’s not the suicide vest jihad of Achmed the Dead Terrorist, nor is it the stealth BS/PC jihad carried on by groups like CAIR and their taqiyya-spewing buddies, but rather known to these Jack Sparrows as “jihad al-mal,” or money jihad.

But OMG, we cannot call it jihad or connect the dots to the funding of their caliphatic wet dreams, in part, by what they loot on the ocean because that would destroy the PC narrative the media has worked so hard to foist on us goobers (Oh, FYI: A lot of their ransom money and stolen booty goes to fund al-Shabaab, which is not a doo-wop 50s cover band but an al-Qaeda affiliate currently taking over Somalia). No, scallywags, we can only call it “piracy” and not jihad, and we can only call these Somalis “pirates” and not Muslim terrorists. End of discussion.

Now, if you don’t think what Islam is doing off the horn of Africa is their Water World version of jihad then do this: Google Raymond Ibrahim‘s “What Piracy? This Is the Same Old Jihad,” and then get back to me. Good luck maintaining your PC rhetoric after reading Ibrahim’s column because he buries the naysayers with historical evidence of Islam’s long history of plunder on sea and land.